Yet another year pass by. And this time, it seems like it passed by in the blink of an eye. I still remember clearly the first day of the year, waking up to see my smiling little boy and starting the year with lot of hopes and enthusiasm. I wanted to do a lot of things this year, be high on productivity, and travel. I wanted to do all that I loved and stretch my limits.
This year, I realised you get what you wish for. Opportunities came knocking on my door with dream offers. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be editing books and connecting with authors, but that was a huge happy check in my bucket list. This year, writing made me stand on my two feet, giving me the financial independence that I lost somewhere in the excitement of being a mom. I am still struggling and I may not be earning as I used to, but I love the tiny steps that I am taking and it has given me the much needed confidence to push forward and struggle to do better. Through all this and more, writing helped me connect with long lost friends and acquaintances. I was overjoyed each time I got a new message or mail from an old friend just dropping in to say how they loved what I wrote and from there we caught up on our lives and spoke about our worries and dreams, and lengthy conversations pursued. Many a times, this little space of mine has been the perfect ice-breaker, when after the mandatory hellos and 'how are you's, conversations steered towards the blog and what I wrote.
After ages I stood in front of the mike, addressing people whom I hold in the highest pedestal, my professors and other authorities in my field of profession. I still remember, how I had sleepless nights thinking about addressing the dignitaries and standing in front of the mike. I couldn't remember the last time I took the mike and I almost had a nervous breakdown. But by the end of it, I had fought a biggest fear and I was overjoyed when I saw the smiling, comforting faces of my teachers whose "you did well" was the biggest certificate I could have got that day.
This year, I realised what best friends really mean. Just like last year, this year gifted me a few good friends and although we knew each other only for a few months, they were right by my side whenever I needed. Bangalore started slowly feel like home because of these lovely guys in my life and I realised, years doesn't matter when it comes to friendship, the connect is all that matters. And when you get that right, you know there is always someone to reach out to and you need to be extremely grateful for that.
Like last year, this year too, I strived to be the best mother I could possibly be to the little boy. There were times when I failed, but I picked up, learning a lesson on the way and tried to better myself the next time. There have been times I've lost my cool, wondered whatever happened to my life, but there has been no single day I haven't sent a silent thank you note up for what I have. The house has been messier and noisier than last year, but for that I am more grateful than complaining and I wouldn't change any bit of it.
I still haven't done all that I wished to do and I don't know if that is even possible - to tick off everything in your bucket list, but maybe that's ok since I would have a few dreams to look forward to the next year. There are still a few jitters I need to fight against, a few wishes that need to be taken care of and a few more limits that I want to stretch. There are still a few childhood interests that I was passionate about which got lost in the rush to catch up with life that I want to get back to. There are a few 'out of my comfort' zones that I want to tread and experience the unknown. But this year will always be in my list of favourites.
I am sure I will always look back at this year with endearment - the year I realised I was my biggest cheer girl, the year I fell more in love with myself, the year of "you go, girl!"