It's been a while since I wrote. At first, it was about taking a break, in my effort to find the right thoughts to pen down. Then, laziness took over. As much as I wanted to do something about it, the will that it had over me seemed quite strong and I found comfort in procrastination.
In the last couple of months that I went missing, I went through a roller coaster of emotions - excitement, happiness, worry, disappointment, relief, anger, and more. We went for a weekend getaway - a staycation of sorts which was a perfect family break. A very dear boy got married to the love of his life and for the first time in my life I danced all night and stayed awake to watch the sunrise. Someone shunned me for not minting money and hence not being successful, and as much as I know that I don't measure success by money and despite being happy and content with the life I lead, this conversation brought me down, and it took a lot of positive thoughts and energy to get me back on track. Then there were certain things that shook me, brought close people closer and changed my whole outlook of life. I am not lying when I say I wanted to pen down each of those. But each of these emotions exhausted me to the core leaving me with no will to gather my thoughts.
Meanwhile, this sabbatical of mine made me realise the power of words even more. I had friends and acquaintances messaging and checking on me, wondering what happened, gently nudging and pushing me to write. I realised how this little space of mine became a good conversation starter, brought back long lost friends, turned old school mates to friends, and I felt grateful - to words, and to the ones who became my friends through these words.
Indeed, the world around me inspired me daily to write, but when laziness holds you in its clutches, it takes a tonne of effort to get back. With this post, I am trying to get back and I really hope I do. Because, amidst all that I do, it is this that gives me much joy, soothes my soul and helps me stay sane.
Like when you wake up from sleep and your voice is all groggy, or you try to walk for the first time after a surgery and your steps are shaky, it might take a little time for me to find my feet again. But that's ok. Because, end of the day all that should matter is a lightened heart and a calmer soul. And a couple of people who holds you close to their heart!