Yet another year passes by as I turn a year older today. I have always been excited about my birthdays. My anticipation starts days before and I keep wondering about the gifts and wishes that I would receive. This year wasn't any different except that the birthday celebration this year was very low-key. A sick baby at 2 in the morning, crazy deadlines and a flight to catch in the afternoon, I wasn't in any mood for celebration by late evening. The whole day, I had this long urge from within to step back and enjoy the day, but there were works to finish and I just wasn't able to enjoy the day.
There were no cakes, very few birthday wishes which were very special knowing that they remembered me on my special day without the help of Facebook (I've not listed my birthday there) and no gifts at all. However, there is one person who is always more pepped about my birthday than even me, every year. Every year, as November rolls in, Amma is as excited as I am and her birthday wish is always special. I didn't recognise the excitement and happiness in her voice on my birthday until I became a mother. Now, in her birthday wish, I can hear her imagining the day I was born, I can imagine her happiness as a mother and I can feel her celebration.
There have been quite a lot of birthdays that has been very special to me. But a particular one stands out to me. My eighteenth birthday. Not because of the usual excitement of turning 18 years and a huge celebration as a part of that. It was my first birthday away from home and I was upset. The first time I was missing my parents after joining college and hostel. No birthday wishes were cheering me up and I was in no mood for any birthday treat that day. Generally, we had a tradition of cake cutting in the hostel for birthdays but I let the warden know that I'll celebrate the day a few days later. Things weren't great by evening and I can't tell you how much I was missing home. As I came back from the college, I saw a huge cake in the dining table, larger than the usual birthday cakes that we order, and I was irritated as I really didn't want to cut a cake that day. As I was walking to my room, the warden told me that I have a parcel and I see a lovely bouquet right next to the huge cake and a birthday card. The cake had come from my parents along with a bouquet and card. Tears welled up in my eyes. I cannot describe how my mood lifted up instantly and I was smiling for the first time in the day. Daddy always take extra effort to make my day special and this was just the first of many that was to come in the future.
In this six years of marriage, I've come to accept the fact that the husband man doesn't know how to throw surprises or pick a gift and hence, in this six years, I've never got a birthday gift from the man barring one time that I picked something that I liked and made him pay after much cribbing and let him know how he never gifts me anything. Because of this, I think all the birthday surprises that I've got have always been from my parents and each time it's so heartening to see Daddy take special effort to see me happy. It may not be about the gifts, but flying down to be with me or making arrangements to see that I celebrate the day, all these always makes me feel special and I know I have a family to whom I mean the world.
I might have become a mother now, my priorities have changed, I look forward more to the little one's birthday than mine, yet I am still a little girl at heart who gets excited about my day and looks forward to it. Because of which, each wish that comes my way this day is very special and I hold each person who remembers me on this day and takes the effort to wish me very close to my heart.
This may not have been my best birthday, but I am really grateful for the year that passed by. I did things I enjoyed, I've pushed myself out of my comfort zone and I am back to earning on my own even if it's not the high pay that I would have earned had I not quit my corporate job. But most importantly, I am happy and I hope my lucky streak continues this year too!
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