The Golden Vishu Days

It's Vishu today - April 14th. The day we, as kids, used to eagerly look forward to every year. Of all the festivals that we celebrate in a year, this has to be my favourite.

It all starts with getting up early in the morning to see the 'Vishu Kani' that Ammumma and Amma had set beautifully the night before. In the wee hours of the day, Amma wakes us up, blindfolds our eyes with her hands and walks us to the Pooja Room where the Kani is set beautiful with all the fruits and vegetables, gold, money, mirror and Unni Kannan in the midst of all. Even now, watching the kani with all the Vishu songs and other shlokas in the background is surreal. Amma then gives us our first Kaineetam of the day - a tower of ten Re. 1 coins, which back then was a major let down since to us, the kaineetam was more of giving us a 'pocket money' rather than a blessing for prosperity. We would then rush to get ready to visit all our favourite temples. After almost two hours of temple visits we would come back home to rest while watching a super-hit Malayalam movie while the sadya gets ready. However, all said and done, a major part of the day goes by with getting 'Kaineetam' from all the elders. We would ask Kaineetam from all those who came home that day, from all elders we visited, from neighbours who are more like family and from all at home. Growing up, us three kids would compete against each other to get the highest amount. I still remember we slyly asking each other how much we got so that we can go one rupee up. The best part of the day was getting Kaineetam from Achan because undoubtedly his amount would be the highest. But thinking back, more than it being the highest, it was a pure joy getting Kaineetam from Achan because he gave it with all his heart and ensuring we had enough to buy all that we wanted.

Things changed as the years passed by. When I went to UK for my masters, I was at my uncle's house and celebrated my first Vishu away from home there. Despite her husband being (supposedly) an atheist, my aunt and her mom set up the Vishu Kani beautifully and after all the years of taunting and troubling him for my kaineetam, that year I finally got my kaineetam from him. I kept the amount in my wallet for a long time without spending since it meant so much to me - as the years passed, I think I forgot about it and the money got spent in some way or the other. I still send him an email or message for my share of kaineetam every year before Vishu and like all years that has passed by, we fight about the topic every year. Once I got married, I realised that the husband was worse than my uncle. In this seven years, I've never got a kaineetam from the man, inspite of the mandatory call his mom does every year on this day to tell him 'strictly' that I had to be given kaineetam!

Marriage changed my way of celebrating Vishu a lot. In contrast to getting up with Amma's hands on my eyes leading me to the Puja room, it was now upon me to get the Kani ready and to lead the husband and now, the little boy too. While earlier I sat lazying around and running around collecting my share of the kaineetam, only to come back and sit for the sadya lunch, now it is upon me to get the sadya ready. Even with kaineetam, over the years receiving has taken a backseat and giving has taken over.

Yesterday night, after I made the little boy sleep and got up to set the Vishu kani, my eyes welled up. I missed home terribly. It was one of those moments when I realised that the little girl has grown up to be a mother now. All that I wanted was to be back home, oblivious of all the cleaning and setting up of Vishu Kani and waking up to Amma's call to see the Kani. The feeling continued when I woke up today morning too. Now, after a mini sadya that I whipped up for the boys, my mood is slowly changing for the better. I am happy that the little boy atleast got to experience a minute part of my favourite festival - yes, he did have the kani, he got the kaineetam and the sadya. I don't know if he will ever be able to walk through neighbourhoods collecting his kaineetam from everyone and counting the money. But for now, he got the best of what I could offer him.

When Mommies Have Fun And Relive School Days

I have this amazing bunch of girls as friends. The little boy's school friends' mommies. We've just been together for a year and yet we've formed a wonderful bond that takes us back to school days, where you were just you and not trying to be someone else, where you were not seen as a potential threat or a potential person who can be used, where there were lot of misunderstandings but we worked around it to still be friends. I will never forget the June of 2016, when we hugged, kissed and waved goodbyes to our little ones and stood teary eyed and anxious, equally flustered as our babies were, waiting outside the school gates for them to come out and while at that, we started talking, wondering out loud our worries, giving the moral support that we needed to each other and just being there for each other. I tell you, this bond, that we form through our worries and tears are one of the strongest!

After the kiddos got settled at school, we were no longer needed to wait outside the school gate but we just couldn't let go of our worries and concerns. We formed a whatsapp group to discuss these and the school notes. But over time, breakfast dates, dress codes and party planning took over school notes and this has become one of the most active groups in my whatsapp. We have a comfort zone with each other, so much so that we are this loud and boisterous group and the ruckus we create when we are together is one of its kind. There is not one person who is silent and if you find us silent (ver rare!) it would be either be when we are stuffing our mouth with food (still we talk) or when we take a group pic of us (the only moment of silence!).

So, when the schools closed and summer holidays started, we decided that we needed a break too. There started all the planning for a bollywood night out. Although that plan had to be postponed, we decided to go for a dinner without the kids. Last few days had been all about eagerly, excitedly waiting for wednesday night, discussing what to wear and what to eat. And finally when the day came, I, for one, got ready way early much to the confusion of the little boy who wanted to tag along since he quite evidently found the twinkle in Amma's eyes more exciting than being at home.

Coming to the dinner, we had the time of our life. Each sentence ended with laughter, each plan ended with more plans, and we went back to the time where we were kids ourselves, giggling and laughing, chatting non-stop and just being us. I came back home lightheaded with all the laughter and talks, and the excitement and joy was too much that I was restless the whole night yesterday. I had fun in the most amazing way I could have ever imagined before. The last time I would've had fun this way with a bunch of girls, maybe, has to be while I was at school. Yet, I really don't remember such a fun night out with just a huge bunch of girls. 

For the last couple of years, or rather, so many years, I've always lived my life reminiscing about old friendships and the golden days that had passed by, always thinking how the new friends I make can never match my bunch of girls from school. Now, after many years, I have another bunch of amazing girls in my life with whom I could just be me, have the most amazing time and come back home only to miss them and wish only if time stood still. Yesterday night made me wonder out loud why I didn't meet them earlier in life. That said, I am really thankful I didn't because then I wouldn't have realised their true worth!

Book Review: Chillies And Porridge and Some Thoughts On What Goes Into My Mouth

Title: Chillies and Porridge

Author: Mita Kapur

Pages: 296

Rating: 2.5/5

It has been a long long time since I did a book review. Also, my reading took a very slow turn too. Really slow than I wanted to. And this book, Chillies and Porridge,  although it revolved around something I loved,  it did slow down my reading. 

This book is an anthology, a collection of stories and memories relating to food by various authors and eminent personalities including Rocky and Mayur and Anita Nair. There are more, but these were the names I knew from the list. The book talks about the authors' favourite memories relating to food, their food related travels and random musings about food. 

The book was a bit too dry, despite revolving around my favourite topic. There are about 23 stories/writings, yet only few were able to impress me. I loved Rocky and Mayur's description about their childhood days and their food memories where they brought back memories of the ice-cream uncle, the foods that we have from our friends' home that always had a slightly extra taste to it. They reminisced about their friendship, their childhood days and food that connected all the dots together. Then there was 'Walks With Lyla' by Niloufer Ichaporia King where the author takes you through the Mumbai markets - Colaba Market for your everyday purchases, Fort Market for masalas, Grant Road market, Bhaji Galli, Bhuleshwar and Null Bazaar, Abdul Rehman Street, and so many others. The way she has described the marketsand her walks through it, it gave me a feel of being by her side through her walks, equally excited and exploring these beautiful places. The 'Chilli High' by Bulbul Sharma was also a pleasant read where she talks about Indians' love for chills and making friends with the unlikeliest of people, while abroad, in the relentless search for a chilli fix. She speaks about her adventures with the chilli and it was surely interesting. 'A Table For Three' by Sumana, Jayaditya and Bikramjit spoke about a tale of friendship and their love for food. I also loved Anita Nair's 'The Theatre Of The Table' where she speaks about the conversations revolving around food, the conversations that her family have in the dining table, her parents enthusiasm for food, meal times, the elaborate planning of each meal and she ends writing about how each meal, at her parents' home, is a thanksgiving to life - loved it!

But my most favourite of all in the book has to be Srinath Perur's 'The Things I Will Put In My Mouth'. He speaks about being a vegetarian and having done a confused sliding to the other side in the vegetarian - non-vegetarian scale. He speaks about the usual questions that come with being a vegetarian. I have been a vegetarian for the past couple of years, and even before, I've always skipped from being a non-vegetarian to a vegetarian every now and then. In that line, what resonated to me the most was "I knew I wanted to travel widely and experience different cultures - and what is food if not culture?" and "that I should be able to partake of anything that a fellow human being considered food". Despite being vegetarian for the most part of the time, these last couple of years, I've never failed to try local cuisines which would mean trying out dishes that I have't had before. To me, that is one of the most significant ways by which I can know about a place and the best way to know the people. I would eat anything that I haven't tried before because I would love to taste it and know how it is.  And I get it when he says, "on that scale that goes from pure veg to hard-core non-veg, I suppose I'd count as some sort of hard-core non-practising non-vegetarian". Right when I was having an existential crisis and wondering which category I really fall into, his words brought a clearer picture of what I am to me and yes, I too am a hard-core non-practising non-vegetarian!

I didn't like this book much except for the few stories that I mentioned above and a couple of others too. I felt a few stories could have been done away with and made the book small and concise to hold the reader's interest. There were many a times that I wanted to close the book and start another one, yet I carried on for reasons still unknown to me. Food and books are two topics that I can spend hours on yet this book, revolving around food, failed to capture my interest.